Sunday, August 29, 2010

Happiness

I am saying it..
I am accepting to be happy..
I deserve to be happy..
I want to be happy..
I decided to accept things the way they are..
Some things I just can't change.. So I am not going to let them make me miserable..
I know like a really good friends said to me "It's about time"
I have to agree with her 100 %..
We have to accept the things we can not change..
Change the thing we can
And Pray to God we know the difference..
Well I am finally letting things go..
After having a massive Manic Attack over something so trivial that I can't even remember.
I give in.. Not giving up.. There is no way I will ever give up..
Maybe 2 years ago.. Before I found the most wonderful family there is..
I would have given up.. I would have threw in the white towel..
But then I met YFE and the YFE family.. My life is so different..
I am loved.. Finally.. After years of trying to find myself..
After years of doing stuff I am not proud of because I didn't love myself.. or didn't have no one to love me.. I now LOVE myself.. I am now loved..
It is the most amazing feeling in the world to know that how ever bad I screw up.. How ever I feel inside bout myself.. I am loved 1000% by a wonderful amazing and thoughtful family that are behind me in front of me and most important right beside me each and everyday.. No Matter What..
If u have never felt that kind of LOVE.. I can tell you first hand.. It's the best feeling you have ever experience..
Life has to be what we make of it.. I finally figured that out..
I am trying to make it a wonderful place..
It has taken me a long time to accept the LOVE.. I felt like I didn't deserve it because of my checkered past.. But I came to realize everyone's past is checkered.. No One of us is perfect.. Everyone of us deserves to be loved NO MATTER what.. When u come to realize it.. And accept it.. This world can b a beautiful place...
I thank God each day I wake up and count my lucky stars when I go to bed to let me know I made it through another day.. And I will continue to fight another day...

So Thank 4 my family..
I thank God each day for each and every one of you..
Those I talk to on a regular basis and those I don't..
You are all in my heart and in my prayers..